Taking Care of Myself
by ManuMcCarty
Summary: SM OWNS IT ALL! first fanfic. It takes place after Edward left Bella in NM. He didnt come back and Bella takes mathers in to her own hands. When they meet 87 years later will Bella just take him back? Oh and also the pairings are different.
1. It's Over

_It's over.. _I still heard it in my head. Going over and over and over again. I had noticed that he was changed over the last week, his eyes were cold and he became distanced. I never would have expected this. He broke up with me, he did the one thing he promised he would never do. He had left me, alone. We had walked in to the woods behind my house, just up the trail. He had told me that he had to move with his family. Away from Forks, start over again. At first I thought he mend we as in him, me and the rest of the Cullens. But I was wrong. It mend him and the Cullens, without me. I couldn't believe he would do this, after all that we had been through. Things were going good for us, at least I seamed to think so. I guess I was wrong, stupid, blind lamb.

He told me he didn't love me anymore, I was not good for him. I screamed at him, he had promised not to leave me when I was in the hospital in Phoenix. That was after I survived the attack from James and his followers. He said he had promised to stay with me for as long as I needed him and he thought I didn't need him anymore. How could he think that? He was my reason for being, the true love of my life. I wanted him by my side forever, through all of eternity. And I thought that was what he wanted as well. Why did it suddenly change?

He left me, alone in the woods. I had reached for him, trying to put my arms around his cool, marble body, but he had gently put my arms back in place. He looked at me, cold emotionless eyes stared in to my desperate looking eyes. And then he took of. I tried to run after him, but he used his vampire speed to leave me behind. _It's over.. _I kept on hearing it in my head as I walked deeper and deeper in to the woods, the night begin to fell. It got darker around me and I noticed I had no idea where I was or where I was going. Tears had start to fall down my face I couldn't seem to make them stop. The tears just kept on coming, making my eyes irritated and red.

It felt like I was walking around in circles and when I fell down for the millionth time I just stayed down. All strength had left my body, I simply couldn't get up. I had scratches on my face and hands from trying to catch myself as I fell. They started to sting, but it didn't hurt. I felt numb. It had start raining, but I didn't even bother to shelter. I just lay there and kept playing his break up with me over and over in my head. I saw him, his perfect, marble skin and his beautiful, golden eyes. I couldn't believe he had actually left me. My angel, my reason for being, was gone. Forever.

Suddenly, as if something burst through my bubble, I heard voices calling my name. I listen carefully, to make sure is wasn't imagining the voices, but I heard them again. I tried to answer, I really did, but I couldn't. I didn't have the strength to answer, I was completely exhausted. I closed my eyes and hoped they would find me own their own, without my voice guiding them to me. But more then that I hoped for death, to release from this aching.

Suddenly a flashlight shined in my face, I kept my eyes closed because I knew I couldn't handle the light. After being in the dark for so long my eyes really wouldn't appreciate it, I knew it for sure. "Bella?" Someone asked. I let out a soft sob, unable to speak. "Are you hurt?" He asked. I shook my head, but I was hurt. Only not physical, there was nothing this stranger needed to know about my mental pain, about the hole in my chest that used to hold my heart.

I felt him pick me up from the hard, cold ground and held me close to his warm and soft body. Warm and soft, so different from his I thought sobbing in silence. I didn't even got the chance to say goodbye to the rest of the family, my family. Carlisle and Esme, my second parents who I loved so much. Jasper and Alice, though Jasper and I didn't have much of a relationship I would still miss him and Alice even more, my best pixie like friend. Emmett and Rosalie, my big grizzly of a brother and I would even miss Rose although we weren't the best of friends, she was still my sister. They were truly my family, I loved them so much.

Overwhelmed with loss of my family, I just couldn't take it anymore. Then I heard Charlie's voice. "Is she okay? Is she hurt?" He sounded upset, worried about me. "Charlie?" I said with a small voice. I still hadn't opened up my eyes, to afraid of what they might see. I could feel how I was being giving in to someone else's arms. Charlie's arms, I squeezed myself against his body and hold on as tight as I could. He walked me to his car en put me in the passengers seat, whispering the entire ride home. Everything would be okay, he kept saying it over and over again. I didn't believe it, my reason for being was gone. _It's over.._

When I got home Charlie carried me in to the house and laid me down on the sofa. He started thanking everyone that helped looking for me. The boys from La Push, some kids from my school with their parents and of course his colleague's. I was watching everything through my eyelids, I saw Mike Newton, Angela Weber, Jessica Stanley and some of Jacob's friends like Seth and Leah Clearwater. I noticed that there was someone approaching me, it was dr. Stanfield. One of Carlisle colleague's. Old colleague's I reminded myself. I flinched at the thought of never seeing them again.

After dr. Stanfield examined me and asked me a few basic questions, he went over to Charlie and spoke in a low, soft voice. I couldn't hear a single thing they said. Apparently he told Charlie I wasn't physically hurt, but emotionally I was pretty messed up. But who wouldn't be, after losing the one thing you lived for. The one thing you would die for, to spend all of eternity with him.

I told Charlie I was going upstairs, I really needed a shower en I just wanted to be alone. He watched me, worried expression on his face, as I got up to the stairs. As soon as I reached my room I could feel the hole in my chest being ripped open from the inside out and I fell, letting the pain consume me. Then everything went black.


	2. Smell me

87 years later

"Bella come on!" I heard Chrissie yell. Chrissie was my little sister, well actually she was older then me. But by physical appearance I was the eldest. "Coming coming" I yelled back. I was just finishing putting my working clothes on. "Stop the shouting, you know you can hear each other at a normal speaking volume "I heard Janice warning us. Janice was our mother, well for the outside world. But I never really looked at her as my mother. I had two mothers once, one died about fifty years ago and the other left me about 80 years ago.

I lived in a small coven now, it was just Janice, Tyler, who was Janice's mate, Chrissie and me. I was turned about five months after the Cullens left me. It wasn't anything dramatic like I was attacked or something like that, I went out looking for a vampire that could change me. That they left me did not mean I didn't want to be a vampire. I was patient in finding someone that could change me. The first week after Edward had left I was nothing. I didn't eat, I didn't speak, all I did was sob and sleep. After that week I decided that I was not going to let him destroy my life.

Charlie was sceptical at first, of me being so chirped, but he bought it after three weeks. He let me do my own thing, stopped hovering, that's when I took my chance. I started looking on the internet at first, looking for news about people disappearing, dead people being drained from all of their blood, animals sucked dry from the blood. I got a lot of hits, most of the hits were of no use to me. Then I noticed some recent events in Port Angeles, that was only a 1 hour drive from Forks. After I did some researching for a few weeks, I decided to go to Port Angeles and take my chances. I left Charlie a note saying I loved him and Renee but that I couldn't do it anymore, I needed peace and I hoped he would understand and not blame himself for this. I found Janice rather easily, I had walked in to the first bar on my way and saw her standing in de corner near the pool tables. She was by far the most prettiest woman in the bar, porcelain skin and coral red eyes. There was no doubt in my mind, she was the vampire is was looking for.

To cut a long story short, she changed me. And she and Tyler accepted me in to their home and in to their lives. I told them why I wanted to be like them and of course I told them about Edward. They were very sweet about it, 87 years later they were still always on the look out for my and my sister. We found Chrissie about 40 years ago, she was a wild new born at the moment but we decided to help her gain control over her powers and thirst. We were happy, the four of us. Not as happy as I used to be with my other family, but life was good.

We were on the way to our jobs, we worked in a local night club. Vampires were welcome, but humans were also allowed and we were not allowed to kill them as long as they were in the club. It sounds like that would be impossible, but it wasn't. We'd also sell blood, a kind of secret menu because the humans would find it a bit odd. The last thing we needed was to draw attention. Chrissie and I were the waitresses, Janice owned the club and Tyler was the dj. Chrissie and I didn't want to go to school anymore, we had to do same things over and over again and we got so bored. Janice decided that we should open up a family business and after day's of discussing we decided that I should be a night club. Janice looked 28, Tyler 25, Chrissie could pass of as 21 as do I. And because we don't need to sleep and the night is the safest for us, this would be perfect.

So that is what we did. We named the club after our most used last name, Bloody Butcher. Isn't it ironic that we used that as a last name? Our club was a instant success and once a week I would get up on the stage and sing a few songs. I had a nice voice, the crowd seemed to like it. Tonight was one of those nights, I would start serving drinks, then sing a few songs and I would end cleaning the club. The glamour I had in my life, I chuckled a bit to myself.

We parked the cars at the back of the club, near the staff entrance. I got out of my metallic black Maserati Gran Turismo and watched Chrissie pull up in her bright pink Lamborghini Diablo. The blood red Hummer H6 from Janice and Tyler was already there. I smiled as I looked at our cars, they were one of the most expensive cars in the world. And they were fast, that is the main reason we bought them. We loved the speed and these cars gave us the speed we needed. Isn't it ironic? I, Isabella, loved the speed?

I walked in to the club, Chrissie on my heels. We had to open up in about 5 minutes, we were already in our costumes. Chris and I wore black mini skirts, black bustiers and high glossy black heels underneath it. We looked hot, our eyes had a smokey touch to it and our lips were bright red. I had my brown hair in loose curls hanging on my shoulders and Chrissie had her blonde hair in a high ponytail. "Hi girls!" We heard Janice from the back. "Hi mom!" We said at exactly the same time. "Bells, what do you want to sing tonight?" Tyler asked. When I changed I had kept my old name, after all it was given to me by my birthparent. I missed Charlie and Renee. I walked up to his spot and gave him a piece of paper I had already made for him. "Thanks babe." He said. I winked at him and got ready to open up the doors. "Chrissie, you ready?" I asked. "Of course I am, I am always ready!" She answered bouncing with excitement. She reminded me a bit of Alice, always happy and excited. I sighed of the memory of my best friend, my sister.

"Bella, before you open up, good luck on stage!" Janice smiled at me. I thanked her, I loved my family and my life. I opened up the doors and let some people, that were waiting, in asked what they wanted to drink. I grabbed my notes, just in case, but when they ordered two mountain lions, a grizzly and three deer's I knew I didn't need to pretend by writing things down. We al worked hard, Janice was in charge of the bar and looked at her staff working really hard. Chrissie was running, at human speed of course, from the customers to the bar and back and forth. Tyler was spinning and selecting the music to play for the next hour. "Get ready, you are almost up." Tyler hissed under his breath. I simply nodded and got to the back to get the mike, check my make up and get ready to go on stage.

"Are you ready?" I yelled in to the mike and the crowed went nuts. They started screaming and jumping up and down. "Let's get this party started!" I said and that's when I noticed the door open and a group of vampires entered the club. The Cullens. It didn't shock me, I knew I had to run in to them sooner or later. An eternity is a long time to avoid each other. They didn't notice me and I new they would never recognize me after all this years.

The first song started and I started singing,

_Da da da da, da da da da  
a da da da-da da_

_I don't think that I can yell any louder  
How many time have I kicked you out of here?  
Or said something insulting?_

da da da da-da  


_I can be so mean when I wanna be  
I am capable of really anything  
I can cut you into pieces  
But my heart is....broken_

Da da da-da da

Please don't leave me  
Please don't leave me  
I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please, don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?  
What is it with you that makes me act like this?  
I've never been this nasty

Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?  
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest  
But baby I don't mean it

I mean it, I promise

Da da da-da da

Please don't leave me

Da da da-da da

Please don't leave me

Da da da-da da

I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please, don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me  
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag  
And I need you, I'm sorry.

Da da da da, da da da da  
da da da da-da da

Please, please don't leave me

Baby please don't leave me  
No, don't leave me  
_Please don't leave me no no no  
You say I don't need you but it's always gonna come right back,  
It's gonna come right back to this._

Please, don't leave me.

No.

No, don't leave me

Please don't leave me, oh no no no.

I always say how I don't need you

But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please don't leave me

Please don't leave me

The crowd went nuts when I ended the song and I could the see the Cullens had order their first drinks and were now making their way to the dance floor. I started singing my next song, two more to go.

_Here's the thing we started out friends  
It was cool but it was all pretend  
Yeah yeah  
Since U Been Gone_

You dedicated you took the time  
Wasn't long till I called you mine  
Yeah Yeah  
Since U Been Gone

And all you'd ever hear me say  
Is how I pictured me with you  
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But Since U Been Gone  
I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so moving on  
Yeah, yeah  
Thanks to you  
Now I get  
What I want  
Since U Been Gone

How can I put it? You put me on  
I even fell for that stupid love song  
Yeah, yeah  
Since U Been Gone

How come I'd never hear you say  
I just wanna be with you  
I guess you never felt that way

But Since U Been Gone  
I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so moving on  
Yeah, yeah  
Thanks to you  
Now I get (I get) what I want  
Since U Been Gone

You had your chance you blew it  
Out of sight, out of mind  
Shut your mouth I just can't take it  
Again and again and again and again

Since U Been Gone  
I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so moving on  
Yeah, yeah  
Thanks to you (thanks to you)  
Now I get, I get what I want  
I can breathe for the first time  
I'm so moving on  
Yeah, yeah  
Thanks to you (thanks to you)  
Now I get (I get)  
You should know (you should know)  
That I get, I get what I want  
Since U Been Gone  
Since U Been Gone  
Since U Been Gone

I loved these songs and I also loved the fact that I could sing them to the one person that had hurt me so much al these years ago. It almost looked like faith that I picked this songs earlier tonight, as if I had felt it coming. He didn't even notice me. He just sat there watching his siblings dance around, he actually looked depressed. Good, I thought to myself.

_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_I wanna kiss you_

_But if I do then I might miss you, babe_

_It's complicated and stupid_

_Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid_

_Guess he wants to play, wants to play_

_A love game, a love game_

_Hold me and love me_

_Just want touch you for a minute_

_Maybe three seconds is enough_

_For my heart to quit it_

_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Don't think too much just bust that kick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Let's play a love game_

_Play a love game_

_Do you want love?_

_Or you want fame?_

_Are you in that game?_

_Dans le love game_

_Let's play a love game_

_Play a love game_

_Do you want love?_

_Or you want fame?_

_Are you in that game?_

_Dans le love game_

_I'm on a mission _

_And it involves some heavy touching, yeah_

_You've indicated you're interest_

_I'm educated in sex, yes_

_Now I want it bad, want it bad_

_A love game, a love game_

_Hold me and love me_

_Just want touch you for a minute_

_Maybe three seconds is enough_

_For my heart to quit it_

_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Don't think too much just bust that kick_

_I wanna take a ride on your disco stick_

_Let's play a love game_

_Play a love game_

_Do you want love?_

_Or you want fame?_

_Are you in the game?_

_Dans le love game_

_Let's play a love game_

_Play a love game_

_Do you want love?_

_Or you want fame?_

_Are you in the game?_

_Dans le love game_

_I can see you staring there from across the block_

_With a smile on your mouth and your hand on your (huh!)_

_The story of us, it always starts the same_

_With a boy and a girl and a (huh!) and a game_

_Let's play a love game_

_Play a love game_

_Do you want love?_

_Or you want fame?_

_Are you in the game?_

_Dans le love game_

_Let's play a love game_

_Play a love game_

_Do you want love?_

_Or you want fame?_

_Are you in the game?_

_Dans le love game_

I really swooped the crowd up with this song. The dirty lyrics really got them in de mood to start some sensual dancing. I watched the Cullens dancing and I noticed that I didn't see the usual pairs dancing with each other. It was Emmett and Alice dancing together and Rose and Jasper. I frowned, since when did Emmett let Rose dance with someone else besides him like that? I shook my head, it was none of my business. It was time for my last song and I selected a personal favourite of mine to sing

_Im lyin here on the floor where you left me  
I think I took too much  
Im crying here, what have you done?  
I thought it would be fun_

I cant stay on your life support, theres a  
Shortage in the switch,  
I cant stay on your morphine, cuz its making me  
Itch  
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes  
Being a little bitch,  
I think Ill get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can  
To the middle of nowhere  
To the middle of my frustrated fears  
And I swear youre just like a pill  
Instead of makin me better, you keep makin me  
Ill  
You keep makin me ill

I havent moved from the spot where you left me  
This must be a bad trip  
All of the other pills, they were different  
Maybe I should get some help

I cant stay on your life support, theres a  
Shortage in the switch,  
I cant stay on your morphine, cuz its making me  
Itch  
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes  
Being a little bitch,  
I think Ill get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can  
To the middle of nowhere  
To the middle of my frustrated fears  
And I swear youre just like a pill  
Instead of makin me better, you keep makin me  
Ill  
You keep makin me ill

Run just as fast as I can  
To the middle of nowhere  
To the middle of my frustrated fears  
And I swear youre just like a pill  
Instead of makin me better, you keep makin me  
Ill  
You keep makin me ill

I cant stay on your life support, theres a  
Shortage in the switch,  
I cant stay on your morphine, cuz its making me  
Itch  
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes  
Being a little bitch,  
I think Ill get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can  
To the middle of nowhere  
To the middle of my frustrated fears  
And I swear youre just like a pill  
Instead of makin me better, you keep makin me  
Ill  
You keep makin me ill 

"Thank you everybody!" I shouted in to the mike. I always song rocky kind of songs and the audience seemed to like it. They were going crazy and I could definitely hear the vampire roars in the crowd. It made me smile, even the Cullens were going crazy. I could see Alice jumping up and down, the excited little pixie that she was, Jasper was jumping just like Alice, he couldn't help himself and looked frustrated. Emmett and Rosalie were making their way over to the table. Edward was still sitting there and it looked like he didn't move at all. He was just sitting there, as if he was dead. I chuckled under my breath, I just thought to myself he must think that I am dead.

Janice and Chrissie winked at me and I heard Tyler say "You did good babe." It made me smile, it mend a lot to me when they made me feel like the were proud of me. I glared over to the table where the Cullens were sitting. I gasped. Why was Rose kissing Jasper like that? And why wasn't Emmett or Alice doing something about it? Then I noticed Alice was flirting with some other guy, a human. It hit me that Alice and Jasper must have broke up, got a divorce or something like that.

It surprised me, at the time that I was a part of their family I always thought that Jasper and Alice were perfect for each other. Guess I was wrong about that then.

"Bella, what are you staring at?" Chrissie asked me inside my head. Oh yeah, Chrissie has the same power Edward does. She reads minds, but can also communicate with others trough their mind. "Those are the Cullens." I replied. I heard her growl when she saw them. "Chrissie, relax. They are not worth it" I warned her. I knew Janice and Tyler knew it to, I saw them looking at the Cullens as if they were ready to rip them to pieces. I sighed. My family was probably more upset with them then I was. I was only mad at one of them to be honest. But it didn't hurt me to look at him and say his name. I was definitely over him.

I decided to let my shield fall, so they could smell me. That was one of my powers, I had a protective shield. No one, accept the ones I let in, could read my mind or attack me with any other psychological power. It also masked my smell, no one could smell unless I wanted them to smell me. Oh and there is that thing were I can control the elements. This always comes in handy when the sun is shining and we need to go out for a bit.

As soon as I let my shield fall I noticed 5 vampires looking directly at me…


	3. 87 Long Years

As soon as I saw them looking at me I put up my shield again and as if we arranged it, Janice made me look different in their minds. Janice has the ability to manipulate someone's mind in to doing what she wants them to do or let them see what she wants. "Bella, they're really confused" I heard Chrissie saying in my head. I chuckled, they really did seem confused. Like they smelled someone they new, only the person didn't match the smell. And that was so true, I liked playing with them. Like they had played me al those years ago. "I know Chrissie, and I kind of like it" I answered. I looked at Janice and saw that she had trouble keeping her cool. She looked like she wanted to burst out with laughs. "Thank you" I whispered under my breath and she winked in reply.

The Cullens were still looking for the source of the smell that hit them, my smell. Freesia's, I always preferred that flower to all the others in the world. I decided to go over to their table and ask them if they'd like a refill. "Hi I am Isa, your waitress. What can I get you guys?" I asked. Isa was one of the many names I used to fool the humans. The same name over and over again would become suspicious. They still looked confused and I knew Janice was still manipulating their minds. I looked at them, one by one. Alice still looked as pretty as ever, she wore a beautiful little black cocktail dress with matching purse and heels. Rosalie was still one of the most beautiful persons in the world, her long blond hair was hanging loosely on her shoulders and she wore a stunning purple, open back, dress. Emmett, still as muscular as always, was wearing some jeans and a simple black t shirt that made his muscles look extremely well. Jasper was in white, Jasper always wore white. And then there was the one that destroyed the human me al those years ago. Edward. He wore a dark blue blouse and jeans, looking good as always.

"We would like two Grizzly's, one Mountain lion, one Elk and one Deer." Alice answered. She must had seen it coming I thought to myself. I wondered where Carlisle and Esme were, not that this kind of club would be something for them. "Okay, I'll be back in a sec" I said with a wink. I went over to the bar and Janice came to take my order. "They didn't recognized you didn't they?" she asked. "No, you did a good job. As always" I replied. She gave me a big smile, flashing her razor sharp teeth, and I returned it. I made my way over to the table and noticed that they were discussing something, at times like these I just loved my super vampire hearing.

"Did you guys smell that?" Emmett asked. "Of course we did, how could we forget that smell" Jasper replied. "I don't understand, I didn't see her here nor did I see her in my mind" Alice spoke, obliviously confused. I chuckled, I had fooled Alice! Well my power did, but still it felt good. "But she cant be here, we left here like 80 years ago, she should be dead by now" I knew a comment like that could only come from Rose. As blunt as always, some people really never change. "87 years ago, Rose. 87 long years ago." Was Edwards reply. Long years? I thought to myself. How could he act as a victim, the tone in his voice! He was the one that ended the relationship and took my whole family away from me. The bastard, trying to make himself the victim. I snorted loudly and they stopped their talking.

"So, who had the Mountain Lion?" "That would be me" Edward replied, of course. I still remembered it as his favorite. "And the two Grizzly's?" "One for me and one for my brother" Jasper, calm as always, answered. "Okay, and witch one of you girls wanted the Elk?" Rosalie raised her hand, so I gave her the Elk and I putted the Deer in front of Alice. "Anything else I can get you guys?" I asked as friendly as possible. "No, we're good for now" Emmett's booming voice answered, oh how I missed that voice. It used be so loud and annoying, but now I really appreciated it. "Okay, well, don't hesitate to call me if you need anything at all" and I turned away from them.

"Sis, Tyler wants to know if you would like to do a few more songs tonight." Chrissie asked me when I approached the bar. "I don't know. I already sung four songs tonight Chris." "Ah baby, come on! Do it for your mother." Janice begged me, she loved my voice and she knew singing really did make me happy. "Oh well, how can I denied anything to the one who gave me my life? " I smiled at her. People always thought she was my birthmother, we had the same color of hair only Janice's was way more curled then mine. The same pale skin color, figures, but besides the physical characteristics we where also the same in character. We loved our family with more then all of our hearts and would do anything in our powers to keep our loved ones save. Even it mend dying.

I made my way over to Tyler to get a mike and tell him what I wanted to sing. He was already expecting me, so he threw the mike at me and hissed under his breath that Chrissie had already told him what I wanted to sing. The little brat was snooping in my mind again, I glared at here but the she smiled the biggest smile and my madness disappeared, like snow to the sun. "Hay guy's! So would you like to hear some more of my voice?" I asked the crowd. "YES!" I heard everybody scream at the same time. I laughed out loud and thanked them for all the support. Then it was time for the first song.

_Let me hold you  
For the last time  
It's the last chance to feel again  
But you broke me  
Now I can't feel anything_

When I love you  
It's so untrue  
I can't even convince myself  
When I'm speaking  
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up  
I tried to hold but it hurts too much  
I tried to forgive but it's not enough  
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings  
You can't feel anything  
That your heart don't want to feel  
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts  
And lies worse  
I can't like it anymore  
And I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing  
We are turning into dust  
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire  
When there's nothing left to say  
It's like chasing the very last train  
When it's too late

Oh it tears me up  
I tried to hold but it hurts too much  
I tried to forgive but it's not enough  
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings  
You can't feel anything  
That your heart don't want to feel  
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts  
And lies worse  
I can't like it anymore  
And I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire  
When there's nothing left to say  
It's like chasing the very last train  
When we both know it's too late

You can't play our broken strings  
You can't feel anything  
That your heart don't want to feel  
I can't tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts  
And lies worse  
I can't like it anymore  
And I love you a little less than before  
Oh and I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time  
It's the last change to feel again

By the time I finished the song everybody in the club was dancing. It felt good that people responded so enthusiastic to me singing. The Cullens were also on the dance floor, accept Edward. How long is he going to feel sorry for himself? It wasn't like I'd left him, it was the other way around. He left me, it was his choice completely.

_wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face  
And it never feels out of place_

And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace  
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell

Now where's your picket fence love  
And where's that shiny car,  
And did it ever get you far

You've never seem so tense love  
I've never seen you fall so hard,  
Do you even know where you are

And truth be told I miss you  
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself  
Yeah, Where'd it all go wrong, the list goes on and on

And truth be told I miss you  
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see, what you've done to me  
You can take back your memories they're no good to me  
And here's all your lies,  
You can look me in my eyes  
With that sad sad look that you wear so well

When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you hear this song and sing along, oh you'll never tell  
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well  
Hope it gives you hell  
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell  
You can sing along I hope that it will treat you well

I loved entertaining, but it also made me feel sad. I could never do this out in the open, become a celebrity. It would draw to much attention and people would get suspicious if I'd staid so young trough out the years. Privacy is also very important to our kind, and the paparazzi wouldn't leave you alone once you got famous.

_People can take everything away from you  
But they can never take away your truth  
But the question is..  
Can you handle mine?_

They say I'm crazy  
I really don't care that's my prerogative  
They say I'm nasty  
But I don't give a damn getting boys is how I am

Some ask me questions  
Why am I so real?  
But they don't understand me  
I really don't know the deal about my sister  
Trying hard to make it right  
Not long ago before I won this fight

Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me in? (tell me why)  
I don't need permission  
Make my own decisions (oh)  
That's my prerogative  
That's my prerogative

It's my prerogative  
Its the way that I wanna live  
It's my prerogative  
You can't tell me what to do

Don't get me wrong  
I'm really not soped!  
Ego trips is not my thing  
Fuck all these strange relationships  
It really gets me down  
See nothing wrong with spreading myself around

Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me in? (tell me why)  
I don't need permission  
Make my own decisions (oh)  
That's my prerogative  
That's my prerogative

Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me in? (tell me why)  
I don't need permission  
Make my own decisions (oh)  
That's my prerogative  
That's my prerogative

Its the way that I wanna live  
It's my prerogative  
But you can't tell me what to do

Why can't I live my life?  
Without all of the things that people say  
Ohhhhh

Oh

Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me in? (tell me why)  
I don't need permission  
Make my own decisions (oh)  
That's my prerogative

(They Say I'm crazy) Everybody's talkin' all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me in? (tell me why)  
(they say I'm nasty)I don't need permission  
Make my own decisions (oh)  
That's my prerogative (ahhh)

It's my prerogative

Time just flew by once I got on the stage, time always does go faster when you are doing something you love. Time always goes fast if you can live forever, we would still be here over 200 years and everyone else in this club, except for the vampires, wouldn't. Sometimes that did make me sad in a way, when you have an eternity to live, you also have an eternity of losing your human loved ones. Like your parents, family and friends. I saw each and everyone of them dying, some young and others at old age. It was time for my last song before I even knew it. It was close to closing time. "Hay guy's, this will be the last song for tonight since we are about to close. I really hoped you enjoyed yourself and I am looking forward to see ya'll again!" I said to the crowd.

_Cherry cherry_

_Boom boom_

_Gaga_

_Boy we've had a real good time_

_And I wish you the best_

_On your way, eh eh_

_I didn't mean to hurt you_

_I never thought we'd fall_

_Out of place, eh eh_

_I have something that I love long long_

_But my friends keepa' tellin' me _

_That something's wrong_

_Then I met someone_

_And eh, there's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_There's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_I wish he never looked at me that way_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_There's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_Not that I don't care about you_

_Just that things got so compliqué_

_Eh eh_

_I met somebody cute and funny_

_Got each other and that's funny_

_Eh eh_

_I have something that I love long long_

_But my friends keepa' tellin' me _

_That something's wrong_

_Then I met someone_

_And eh, there's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_There's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_I wish he never looked at me that way_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_There's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_I have something that I love long long_

_But my friends keepa' tellin' me _

_That something's wrong_

_Then I met someone_

_And eh, there's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_There's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_I wish he never looked at me that way_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_There's nothing else I can say_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_Eh eh, cherry cherry, boom boom_

_Eh eh, eh eh_

_Oh, yeah_

_All I can say is eh eh_

After everyone left Janice decided to stop controlling the Cullens minds for they would no longer see me. I agreed, everybody went home so there was no one to identify me as Isabella Marie Swann. I was at the back of the club and opened the door to throw something in to the trash when I noticed someone standing by my metallic black Maserati Gran Turismo. "I knew it!' I heard a familiar voice shriek. If my heart was still beating, I would have had a heart failure right there.


	4. I Missed the Booming

Before I even had time to move or put my shield up I was up in the air in a hug, so tight that if I was still human it would have crushed every single bone in my body. "I knew it was you, I just knew it! And for once I was right!" a booming voice shouted in my ear. I was still standing, not able to move from the shock. I glared up to see who it was, even though I could hear it in de booming voice. I didn't really need to look to know that this was my big grizzly like brother. It was Emmett, even though I didn't like it that he had found out it was me I was still so glad to see him.

If I could cry, I would be. How I missed him, I realized that I missed him more then I thought I had. I turned to him and jumped in his arms, my arms around his neck, and hugged him so tight that I made him say "Ouch". I giggled, I just made Emmett say ouch. "How did you know it was me? Do the others know? When did you realize it?" I shot a lot of questions at him. "Well, I knew it was you because of your freesia like scent, and I didn't tell the others. Uh, to be honest I only realized it was you until you got on stage and started singing." He answered all my questions, only leaving me with more questions.

I figured I would start with one question at the time, "how come the others don't know?" "I didn't tell them and I blocked my mind for Eddie boy" he said. "Oh, sorry.. Maybe saying his name is not the smartest thing to do with you around" he said with a soft, gentle voice. I was surprised, I had no idea Emmett could speak soft and gentle. I had figured he only had one voice, loud and booming. "You can just say his name, Em. I am over him, totally." "When did you get totally over him?" he asked, curious as ever. "About 87 years ago, after he left I was heartbroken, of course. But after a week of feeling sorry for myself I decided to pick up the pieces, glue them back together and get on with my life." I answered him. He looked surprised, as if it wasn't possible to get over Edward. I chuckled at his expression.

"What?" "Nothing, you just look so surprised." He said, still the same expression on his face. "How did you know it was me when I started singing?" I asked raising my brows. "I kind of heard you sing in the shower a lot. Usually when you thought the house was empty." He admitted. "Okay..". If I could blush my face would be the brightest colour of red. "Why don't you come in to meet my family?" I asked him. I opened the door and walked in, Emmett following me with a big grin on his face.

"Guy's! Come in here, there is someone I'd like you meet." As soon as I had spoken the words, my family entered the backstage room. "This is Emmett, an old friend." Emmett wasn't pleased that I didn't introduce him as my brother, but I still needed time to get used to the idea that he was here. "Em, this is my mother and the one who turned me, Janice" Emmett and Janice shook hands and Janice gave him a big, welcoming smile. "This is my father, Tyler and his the mate to Janice." They gave each other a big, manly, handshake. I was glad they didn't hold him some sort of responsible for what his brother did to me. "And last, but certainly not least, my sister Chrissie." They gave each other a quick hug, I knew they would get a long great. "Chrissie, Tyler? Shall we give Bella the night off to chat a bit with here long, lost friend? I think they have a lot to talk about" Janice said. They left, after giving me a big smile and Chrissie told me that he was thinking nothing but good of me.

"Wanna go for a ride?" I asked, not sure if he would be with his Jeep. "Uhm, sure! I run the way here, we have residence nearby" he answered. "Are you driving faster these day's then you did 87 years ago?" he asked. "Well, you could say that. I drive in something with way more style and this car also go's a lot faster than my old truck" I said, laughing. When we got to my Maserati Gran Turismo I was afraid Emmet's eyes would fall out of his caskets. He looked at it like a kid in a toy store would look at the newest toy in the world. "Yeah, this is mine. You like?" "Like? Bella, this is like the car of cars. And so not you I might add." He spoke with the loud booming voice that I loved.

After we got in I just started driving, I figured we could talk during the drive and we'll see where we end up. Emmett wanted to know everything what happened after Edward left, how I was changed, where I had lived and so much more. I answered all of his questions, glad to have my brother back. We kept on talking until the sun started to rise. I asked him if I needed to take him back to his house or if he would run from the night club. He wanted to know if I would be okay dropping him of at the Cullen mansion. Of course I would be, why wouldn't I? He gave me directions and as soon as I started driving up a gravel road I saw the house. It was just as beautiful as the one in Forks. And then I saw the front door open and someone standing there I didn't think I would ever see again.

I'm walking around in circles out of time  
Spending out of focus like I lost my hand  
Even though I know it's what you did  
I'm not gonna show it

You won't see me cry  
You won't reach me, so don't try  
Closing in, shutting out, turning off this light  
You won't see me cry

Everytime you bruise me with your words  
When you look right through me like you haven't heard  
It doesn't really matter  
Cause even though I'm shattered

You won't see me cry  
You won't reach me, so don't try  
Closing in, shutting out, turning off this light  
You won't see me cry

Tear drops are frozen, in everything you had  
I'm stuck in the moment, you're never getting back  
Cause even though I'm shattered

You won't see me cry  
You won't reach me, so don't try  
You won't see me cry  
You won't reach me, so don't try

Proving it, shutting out, turning off this light  
You won't see me cry  
No, no, no, nooo

Closing in, shutting out, turning off this light  
You won't see me cry  
Walking around in circles out of time


	5. Meeting The Family

_**Sorry it took me some time to update. My father was, unexpected, in the hospital with serious heart problems. Luckily he is doing good now, but it has been quite a stress full week for me.**_

My breath choked in my throat when I saw a blonde, tall man in the doorway. Even though I had my shield up, in case Edward would be around, I could still feel the guilt coming towards me. "I really liked talking to you and I'd like to invite you in. But if you don't want to I understand." Emmet spoke beside me, while opening his door. I thought about it, why shouldn't I be able to go in there and see my old family again? To be honest Edward didn't effect me anymore the way he used to. "I would love to come in and meet everybody, Em." I spoke. "Okay, lets do this!" he boomed beside me.

I got out of my car and walked up to the front door, he was still standing there. He hadn't moved one inch from the moment that I drove up the gravel road. I looked at him and saw his pain, tears came to my eyes, tears that would never leave my eyes. When I stood before him I smiled and he, nervously, returned it. "Hi Jasper, it's good to see you" I whispered. "Hi Bella, it's been quite a while" Jasper said. Before he could move I had my arms around his neck, hugging him so tight that he would have been crushed if he was human. He hesitated at first, but then put his arms around me and hold me, with out saying a word. We stood there for a minute before we both let go. Even though I had never been really close to Jasper, it felt good to be in his arms.

"I never blamed you, you know" I said when we stopped hugging. "You should have, it was an inexcusable action" he replied. I thought back to my seventeenth birthday, Alice had threw me a birthday party, after I strongly told her I didn't want one. But I gave in, to make them happy, Alice said they haven't had a birthday party in a long, long time. When I cut my finger when slicing the cake Jasper had gone crazy. His animal instincts took control and he tried to attack me, Edward knocked me out of the way. "Jasper, it was your instinct. It wasn't as if you did it on purpose, you would never do that." I was almost angry with him. He hadn't hurt me, so he should not feel guilty for something that happened over 80 years ago. "I guess" he shrugged. "So, stop blaming yourself and blame me for being a stupid, clumsy human at the time" I said with a wink and a big smile, flashing my teeth.

He laughed and I could feel the guilt disappear. Now that I saw him with my vampire seeing, I noticed the scars on his face. Somehow they didn't scare me, they intrigued me. I had always wondered what his story was, but he was never the storyteller when I was around. "Are we gonna go inside or what?" Emmett boomed at us, still waiting for one of us to move. I turned and smiled at him, it all felt so good. So natural, being around them and talking to them. Like we were never apart, like this was where I belonged. "Yes Em, lets go. I cant wait to see Esme and Carlisle and my best friend. Hell, I am even looking forward to see Rosalie."

The house was perfect, it was big and white on the outside with lots of windows, just like the one in Forks used to be. But inside the house I could definitely see Esme's touch, she loved to decorate and I could see she still had the same passion as she did al those years ago. The walls were a beautiful, pure colour of white and there were beautiful pieces of art on them. I even noticed Carlisle fathers wooden cross and the graduation caps. I made my way to the living room and saw Esme cleaning, she was really fond of here home and anyone who broke something or made it dirty would definitely be sorry. "Hi mom" I spoke so soft, to soft for human ears.

Esme turned away from the enormous flats screen she was cleaning and she stared at me in disbelief. "Oh my.. Bella is it really you?" she said while tears came to her eyes. "Yes, I am really here. Its been to long." She run op to me in vampire speed and hugged me, gently and overloaded with me with the feeling of love. I started to let out dry sobs and she kissed my hair, holding me close to her body. "Oh God, how I have missed you. My daughter, I cant even try to explain how glad I am to see you again. I didn't think I would get the chance." She softly spoke to me, while calming me with her arms rubbing my back.

When I was calm again Esme and I sat down at the kitchen table and talked, Emmett was playing on his new PS3 and Jasper was on the couch reading a book. I asked them not to go tell Rose and Alice because I wanted to surprise them. Esme wanted to know the same things that Em had wanted to know and I told her everything, not leaving one detail out of my story. Accept for the state I was in the week after they left. I knew Esme would blame herself for that and that was not necessary, she wasn't the one that left me alone in the woods that day and broke my heart in to tiny pieces. That was Edward. She insisted that I would bring my family over sometime this week, she wanted to meet the people that had taken such good care of me over the years. I told her I would ask them because I think they would love to meet the Cullens as well.

"Emmet, where can I find Rosalie?" I decided to save Alice for lest, leaving my little pixie friend in the unknown for a bit. "Uhm, well I guess you can find here in the garage were she's probably tuning her car or something" he said, not looking up from his PS3 game Need For Speed. After Jasper gave me directions, and Esme trying to cuddle me to death, I went to the garage. I saw Rosalie, her head under the hood of a car I hadn't seen before so I guess it was a new one to her collection. It was a Bentley Continental GT, a dark blue one. I liked it, Rose always had a good taste in cars I had to admit.

"Hi Rose, miss me?" I spoke loudly. BANG! She hit her head on the hood and cursed while looking in my direction to see who made her hit her head. She froze when she saw me and her eyes got even bigger then they already were. "Bella? What.. How… When?" she started mumbling. "I'll tell you everything you want to know but I would like to now if you missed me first." I said while smiling at her. Before I knew it she was in front of me and after some hesitating she hugged me, it was brief but she definitely hugged me. I stood there, like a statue, in disbelief. Did Rose just hug me? "Oh my.. I didn't think I would ever see you again. I did miss you, though it's hard to belief after the way I treated you. But I was just jealous, I mean you were human and had the chance to live an normal life. Have children and do al of those humans things, I will never get that chance and that is why I pretended to hate you, you were willing to give up all the things I wished I had and could do" she said in return.

"Rosalie, why did you never tell me this? Al this time I thought you hated me, resented me. And I couldn't understand why or what I did to you." I told her. I saw the tears, that would never fall, in her eyes. This shouldn't have come as a surprise, who wouldn't be hurt by the mean things she has said to me? "I couldn't. I have my pride, you know. If I would have told you this from the beginning, all this personal stuff.. it would have been to much for me. I don't open up so easily to strangers or to any one to be honest." I did understand what she mend, I just wished she had confided me. All this time I thought she really hated me, even though I did nothing to upset her. "I forgive you, Rose. I can see why you did the things you did, even though it did really hurt at the time, I can understand your reasons." I spoke to her. And before I knew it I was getting my second, yes really second, hug from Rosalie. Of course she wanted to know everything, but I didn't feel like repeating the same story over and over again so I told her that I would tell her everything and answer all of her questions as soon as I informed Alice and Carlisle that I was kind of alive. I didn't see any reason to tell Edward in person, it wasn't as if he cared.

Rose told me that Alice and Carlisle were in his study, Alice had taken an interest in medicine but she wasn't quite sure to start studying it. She was afraid it would increase her shopping time, I chuckled at the thought how this would feel to Alice. Shopping was still everything to her, the second most important thing in her life besides Jasper of course. The build of the house was almost the same as the one in Forks, so the study wasn't hard to find. I just had to follow the voices if I would get lost, it surprised me that they hadn't heard me yet. It didn't surprise me that Alice didn't knew I was here, I still had my shield up – it was becoming a habit. I stopped in front of the door where the voices were coming from and gently knocked on the door. The voices stopped and I imagined the surprised look on Alice's face and tried to keep my laughter down as much as possible. "Come in" I heard Carlisle saying, hesitating. And then I opened the door and step in to the office facing two suspicious and surprised vampires.

It would be nice if we could all just sit together

Would be great if we could have a cup of everything

Would be lovely to see all your faces smiling

Come on and give me your little grin

Could be wonderful if all the shit I sing about is happening

And it turns out to be we're a happy family

But all these families break, everybody's on the take

All that matters today the kind of money that you make

But all these families break, everybody's on the take

All that matters today, merry christmas anyway

It would be nice if we could all just live together

would be great if could feel a bit of sympathy

would be lovely if we all stood up together

it's gotta be like a commercial on tv

would be wonderfull if all the shit i sing about is happening

but it turns out te be

there's no happy family

'cause all things baffling great

everybody's on the take

all that matters today

the kind of money that you make

'cause all things baffling great

everybody's on the take

cold turkey today

merry christmas anyway

It would be nice if we could all just sit together

it would be great if we could have a little fun

would be nice if we could be a happy family today

today

today

today


	6. Bright Eyes

Carlisle and Alice looked at me like I was some kind of ghost, for all they know I had to be dead by now. "Hi Carlisle, Alice" I said in a polite voice. Alice looked at me with frustration, anger and surprise in her eyes, her visions had let her down. I chuckled at her expression, I never thought I would see the day I surprised Alice Cullen. Carlisle just stared at me, like he didn't trust his own eyes. "Bella? Is it really you?" Alice spoke, unsure of herself. "It's not possible, is it?" "Yes Alice, it actually is possible and you are not seeing a ghost or something like that." I told her. Then all of the sudden a white flash was visible and someone was hugging me so hard that it was a good thing I wasn't human anymore. As Alice hugged me I felt relief, happiness and warmth, I was home. As soon as Alice let me go Carlisle was right in front of me, smiling, I didn't think and just jumped in his arms. Even though I loved Tyler, Carlisle was my true second father. Charlie would always be in my mind and I still loved him, even after al these years the memories I had of him were still as clear as water. It felt so good to be in Carlisle's arms, I became a little ashamed for being in his arms this long. Alice coughed to let us know our hug went on long enough, so I let him go. "How is this possible?" Carlisle wanted to know. "Well isn't it clear? I became one of you, a vampire" I answered. I watched Carlisle face as a smile broke through his lips, and I smiled back. "Yes, well that is clear, but how did you become one and what have you been up to all this time?" he replied. "I will tell you everything you want to know, but lets continue this conversation down stairs with the rest of the family" I said, I didn't feel the need to repeat my story over and over again.

As soon as everyone, except Edward, was sitting around the massive, white dining room table I started talking. Some of them already knew, like Emmett, but still they listened patiently to me. I told my story exactly as it was, without leaving anything out. I told them what Edward had said to me that day in the forest, that he didn't love and that they were moving on without me, _its over._ After that I told them that Sam Uley had found me in the woods that night and took me home. I decided to also tell them about my catatonic state and made sure Esme didn't blame herself for that. Then I told them about how I got changed, why I got changed and about my family. Esme immediately told me to invite my family over some time, she would love to meet them. I told her I was going to deliver the message and I was pretty sure they would love to meet the Cullens as well. Of course they had a lot of questions to ask me, Alice asked me about Charlie and Renee. I explained that Renee had died about 30 years ago, a month after Phil, due to a broken heart and cancer. Charlie died sometime before that, he got killed in the line of duty. He happened to be on a holiday with Sue Clearwater when some supermarket got robbed and of course, being a cop and all, Charlie couldn't just let that pass. I got their condolences, which I truly appreciated. It surprised me that Rosalie wanted to know what had become of the rest of my friends, she never really had any contact with any of them. Mike and Jessica got married eventually and got three kids, Mike junior, TJ and Jocelynn. Alice and Ben broke up and moved out of Forks. The last I heard was that Angela moved to New York to study and Ben ended up in LA. Lauren went to college but dropped out after she got knocked up by some guy in a bar, she moved back in with her parents and had a boy. She started a job at the local supermarket. Rosalie laughed at the thought of Lauren working in a supermarket and she actually looked sad when I told her about the break up between Angela en Ben. Most people liked Angela, it just came natural with her.

Alice wanted to know if I had been dating recently and I told her I had have some dates but nothing serious. There really wasn't much choice for our kind and I was kind of picky. Alice looked pleased with my answer so I decided to tell her that there was no chance I would ever get back together with Edward. Not after what he did to me, he left me and if I was a little less stabile he would have been the cause of my death. But luckily I was stronger then I thought and I coped with things better then expected. All Alice had said was that she knew, but she still had that freaky little smile on her lips. I didn't trust it for even a minute, she knew something that was about to happen. I made a mental note to myself that I should not forget to ask her when we were alone. As I looked around the table, absorbing their faces, I felt really happy and more at home then I had ever been with Janice and Tyler. Don't get me wrong, I truly loved them but this was my real family, the one that introduced me in to their world. Rosalie looked happy that I was there, I think, she smiled at me and even Jasper looked happy. I could feel the relief coming from him, I felt bad that he had felt guilty al those years. It really wasn't his fault what had happened, he purely reacted the way his instinct instructed him to. After a while of answering their questions I thought it was time for my questions, and I had some big one's. First I started with some easy ones, like were they had lived and what they've been up to this last 87 years. I learned that they went to Alaska, after he left me, and spend some time with the Denali clan and after that they travelled to all of the wettest places on the continent. They actually spend some time in England and visited some places from their past. Carlisle was still practicing medicine and was currently working as a family doctor in Stanbridge, the place we lived at the moment, and Esme was still decorating, she actually took a job as an indoor decorator and she was great at her job. Jasper had been to college a few times and majored in Economics and History while Alice had recently decided to go to medicine school, she wanted to do some good in the world and her shopping bills became a little to big. I thought it was great that Alice wanted to do something like that, she would be great at it to because she was a really caring person. Emmett tried college, but he had some trouble keeping his attention on his lessons so he had a few jobs here and there working as a bouncer in clubs and stuff. I pictured Emmett in a dark pants and some tight black t shirt, he must have looked good, really good. I was shocked by my own imagination, I shouldn't think of my brother that way. Rosalie had done some modelling, but for short moments of time because if she would become famous their secret could be exposed, I knew how she felt because I had the same thing with singing.

After that I decided that it was time for the more personal questions, so I asked Jasper why he was kissing Rose at the club that night. They explained to me that Alice never truly had a clear view of their future together, until she had a vision of Jasper and Rose together. Though Alice had handled it very brave, Emmett was completely devastated by the news. He saw Rosalie as his true soul mate and would have never expected her to be with his brother. He actually left the family for some time, but when he accepted the fact that Rose en Jazz were meant for each other, he came home. Alice and Emmett remained single though Alice was positive that they would meet someone to. Well, who would bet against Alice? I surely wouldn't. I decided it was time to ask them about Edward, what had he been up to this past years? He left the family after leaving me and stayed away for ten years or so. It had really hurt Esme that he wasn't around so one day Alice and Rose decided to look for him and drag him home. He supposedly left me for my own sake, he wanted me save and away from his world. Even if this was true, it still didn't change my feelings. I had to much self respect to allow him in to my heart once again, although I was sure I would survive a second break up. I just wasn't sure if he would survive after I got finished with him and besides that, there were simply none of the old feelings left that I cherished for him.

During some small talk with Rose and Alice I suddenly felt something vibrate in my pocket. I quickly took out my cell and saw that Chrissie was calling. "Hey sis, what's up?" I said when I answered. "coming home anytime soon? We really need to go hunting." She explained her phone call. "Yes sure, I could use some as well. It has been a while since we all went together. I'll be there in 5 minutes." And with that I hung up. "So guys, its been really great talking to you and all but I have to get going. My family and me are going hunting together, but I will make sure to invite them over sometime Esme." I announced my leaving. "That would be great Bella, we loved to meet your other family." Esme gently replied. Then Alice had something to say, "We should go all together, we could use hunting as well." I cant believe I hadn't told them about my eating habits, how could I forget something like that! What would be the best way to say this, I thought to myself. "Yeah, guys, uhm.. I really need to tell you something. We don't share the same eating habits." I spoke. Before I knew it I saw 6 vampires staring in to my dark red, almost black, eyes.

Is it a kind of dream,  
Floating out on the tide,  
Following the river of death downstream?  
Or is it a dream?

There's a fog along the horizon,  
A strange glow in the sky,  
And nobody seems to know where you go,  
And what does it mean?  
Oh, is it a dream?

Bright eyes,  
Burning like fire.  
Bright eyes,  
How can you close and fail?  
How can the light that burned so brightly  
Suddenly burn so pale?  
Bright eyes,

Is it a kind of shadow,  
Reaching into the night,  
Wandering over the hills unseen,  
Or is it a dream?

There's a high wind in the trees,  
A cold sound in the air,  
And nobody ever knows when you go,  
And where do you start,  
Oh, into the dark.

Bright eyes,  
Burning like fire.  
Bright eyes,  
How can you close and fail?  
How can the light that burned so brightly  
Suddenly burn so pale?  
Bright eyes,


End file.
